Join us at the table as one overzealous Yank steers three sardonic Brits through a bespoke Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition campaign!
Get ready for raw, unfiltered audio, seasoned with just a dash of commentary from (the often incredulous) Kevin the DM. Dungeons will be delved! Off-colour jokes will be told! Sound like your thing? Then tune in for fun, frolics and felony each Friday!
By the way, if the BBFC gave half a crap about podcasts, they would probably rate this one 15 for “language and crude humour”. You have been warned!
What, ho? The wily witch has been weaving wicked whoppers! Well watch out, you weasling wench, you’re about to get a woody awakening! In other news, Tan gets Caradoc out of a sticky situation, and Mr. Flint invades Jeff’s personal space. Again.
There’s havoc at HQ as the constabulary find themselves under attack by eerie assailants who smell like ass. Can Jeff debug a thug? Can Peg outwit the witch? Can Tan regrow his crow? And who will save the children?!! (Actually, just one. Quite small. Likes jackals.)
Tan undresses corpses (ostensibly looking for tattoos) and Peg gives a small child a jackal to play with. Dr. Jeff gets triage-y while Burnham goes full-on Bramble Monster. Tan is scolded for the sloppy state of his spell book and vows to atome himself. HA! A-tome! No...? nvm :-(
Our impassioned party fights to save Camp Eltimar! Jeff begins to figure out why he’s so odd, while Peg talks to a tree then turns into a horse. Tan, having had enough of weirdos, opts for some retail therapy. Turns out he, and everyone else for that matter, has a blast.
Grand Master Drenn is perturbed to hear that Mr. Flint has seized the only evidence they have of Perathim activity in the region. Peg gets a cryptic message from a Red Cloak, Jeff finds a cryptic message at the library, and tight-lipped Tan remains generally cryptic.
Last seen dangling from a window ledge, our party encounter Caradoc who, this time, seems more willing to stick around. Tan attracts the attention of some hoodlums then hides behind a bush leaving Jeff to demonstrate his l33t diplomacy skillz. But livid Peg has other ideas.
Unto us a foal is born! And not a star in sight. No wise men either for that matter, just a barn full of asses. Speaking of asses, our heroes jump on a cart to visit Shouty Gnome, then jump on a boat to visit Endrallion, then a wicked witch jumps on Peg’s bed! Just rude.
Bungling buffoon or Bond villain? Is the little man beavering away underground building a super-weapon, or simply trying to get from A to B? (Whilst unwittingly creating C? C stands for chaos, by the way. Or cataclysmic crap-cake. Take your pick.)
Something nasty falls down the chimney, so Tan detonates its head and rifles through its pockets. Suspecting hidden treasure, Peg probes a statue, opens a hole and finds a fuzzy sack. Jeff takes a shield, and Tan, weirdly, the moral high ground.
Subterranean surprises are in store as our investigators blunder into the depths of ruined Almtirric Castle. Following traps, bombs and an incinerated crow, Jeff finally gets all avenging angel and drops some spectral science on the occupants.
After succumbing to a shiny “signing bonus,” our newly minted deputies head out to enforce the law... and it’s not long before things get stabby. After muscling a frenzied killer into the cells, the Plod Squad decides revisiting Almtirric Castle doesn’t sound so bad after all.
Tiger, tiger burning bright, compared to bear, you are shite... Peg laments her choice of combat form and our gang decides discretion in the better part of butt-sore or something, and run away. I mean regroup. Back at HQ, a shouty gnome lady resorts to bribery.
Our fearless explorers depart base camp armed with a pile of ‘oh shit’ potions and a string of hardy pack mules. Okay, just two mules and no string BUT... Tan triangulates, levitates, and is all kinds of useful! Meanwhile, Jeff gets perforated then flattened by a rockslide.
Our party encounter an exotic being who seems to know an awful lot about weird stuff. Speaking of weird, Tan mugs a tree, Peg licks her own butt and Jeff flirts to get a bun. Oh, and there’s chaos-corrupted currency currently causing consternation. Crikey.
Our piqued party embark on a blazing rampage through the Harried Hare where blind vengeance soon turns to tragedy. Not surprisingly, there’s little thanks in store as the aggrieved locals dish out blame. Geez! There’s no pleasing some people.
You can keep your tedious minecart rides; this mule-fuelled running battle down a craggy tunnel will have you on the edge of your seat! Want aerial acrobatics? You got it! Great balls of fire? Sure! Regard for private property? Not today, suckers!
Okay, so there’s never a good time for a zombiepocalypse but, typically, this one allows the Graidys to slip away like a fart in the wind. At least Miss Liandra is grateful for the help. Ooh, and some vital intel comes from a most unlikely source...
It's the most bonkers episode yet as our party rummage through a brothel, nick a ferret and uncover all kinds of hygiene violations at the Grand Imperial Grillhouse. Oh, and Tan spills his guts. Who knew he was such an asshat?
Tune in for heroics and henchmen as Tan inherits a bird, Jeff gets hit on by a mob boss and Peg becomes a pussy magnet. With the stench of the Grady Bunch pervading all, can our throbbing threesome exact the revenge they seek?
Now, with a comatose family on their hands, our gang try to claw their way out of spider hell and back to the surface. So...Tan breaks an egg! Doctor Jeff sprouts wings! Peg becomes a pipe-cleaner! Will our gang ever see the light of day again?!
It’s anarachnotastic spine-tingler as our spelunking party descend to where coin-propelled wishes go to die. Tan summons a box! Doctor Jeff C-sections cocoons! Peg gets swarmed! It may be epic, but the phobic among you might want to give this one a miss.
After abetting the escape of war criminals, Tan discovers a weird fetish and our troubled party are asked to go and fetch a constable. Reluctant to leave her homestead, Peg is introduced to Azif the Mule Whisperer, who promises to look after things while she is away...
Tan's boss scarpers and Broken Beam crams his tavern full of mules. Jeff administers a witch’s brew then meets a baby with a tail. Peg buries a friend and a spectral assassin goes murder hobo. Why does nothing interesting ever happen around here?
Our crew locate a grisly lair, they tarry at the Harried Hare, Peg is blasted off her chair, the sound of banjos fills the air. Throw in a batty witch, a giant crab, unintelligible rednecks and a swamp, and you have recipe for adventure! Or simply some weird-ass tea.
Doctor Jeff is summoned to treat a POW while sneaky Platan gathers intelligence in a hayloft. Seeking alternative medicine, our company journeys to a bog to find a witch but is harassed by a mutant beast en route, triggering a bestial discovery of Peg’s own. Rrawr!
It’s time for a swift getaway before the Graidy Bunch discover Platan’s woopsie. But the return to Camp Eltimar brings only more weirdness as Peg has unexpected visitors, everyone is served ale by a minotaur and absolutely no one gets an Emmy award.
Some randoms find themselves thrown together for an urgent mission into bandit country. Will Doctor Jeff (not a rapper) make his ‘special delivery’ on time? Will Peg succeed in keeping her Frog glossy? Will Platan ever live down his outrageous overreaction? Tune in to find out!